Hybrid Read online

  Contents

  Dedication

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  For Jason and my girls, Teagan and Taylor.

  You pushed me to finish it and loved me through it all.

  CHAPTER ONE

  I woke up screaming; my body drenched in sweat. My dream had startled me so much that it took me a few minutes to calm down. After I got a little more control of myself, I listened to see if my hysterical screaming had caused my roommate to wake up. Nothing. I glanced at my alarm clock. 4 am. This is so not what I needed today. I had a huge Spanish midterm after lunch, and I knew that a lack of sleep would definitely not help me. Not that a full night's rest would have helped all that much. I am horrible at Spanish but it might have helped me focus.

  Realizing there was no way I could go back to sleep, I focused back on my nightmare. It was the same recurring nightmare I've had off and on for the last four and a half years. When I was still living at home, I had the nightmare at least once a week. However, since I've been away at college, the nightmare has become a rare occurrence. The last one was more than six months ago. I asked my brother, Jack, if he had any idea why it changed in frequency. He told me that it was probably due to the lack of memories and familiar things around me at school.

  My nightmare. It felt like it belonged to me or that it was a part of me. Weird, I know. But when you have had this dream for as long as I have, it seriously begins to mess with who you are.

  It's like a horror movie playing in my head. A horror movie of my parents dying—repeatedly. I wasn't given many details of the accident. My brother had told me that it wasn't important, and I was too young to make sense of it. Nevertheless, I have always had an overactive imagination. Normally a great thing, like when you are imagining some hot actors making out with you. However, an overactive imagination is not such a good thing when it is trying to recreate the plane crash in which your parents died.

  It always starts the same way. My parents were holding hands in their first-class seats because there was not enough room in coach, according to my father. They were laughing and looking at each other like they were completely alone in their own little world. This made complete sense to me because I knew how much they loved each other. I saw this affection every day for 16 years. They were soul mates and best friends. They were coming back from their 25th wedding anniversary trip, to Hawaii, when the plane crashed.

  The happy moments in my nightmare were very brief. I always felt like I was on the plane with them because I could feel every shake, jerky movement, and emotion. It was as if the plane was being tossed around like a rag doll. The pilot came on the loudspeaker saying they had hit some bad weather and told the passengers the standard emergency information: lock their tray tables, put their seats in their upright positions, and fasten their seat belts. I could see the flight crew walking up and down the aisles making sure everyone was following the pilots' orders.

  Everything after that always came so fast. So fast sometimes that it was hard for my brain to process the details. The air masks deployed. The pilot said they would have to make an emergency landing. Some passengers braced themselves. Others screamed frantically, while a few passengers began praying. My parents were gazing at each other, sharing their final moments. Then there were loud popping and crunching sounds. Finally, the plane began plunging towards the ground at a tremendous speed. I always woke up at the exact moment the massive plane made contact with the ground. Thankfully, my overactive imagination always stopped there. I guess it knew that there was no way I could have dealt with the aftermath of the crash.

  This time, however, the nightmare was different. My nightmare—this nightmare—had never changed. Until tonight. I did not find comfort in this change for a couple of reasons. First, my nightmare was one of the few constants I had in my messed-up life. There was never variation—it was always the same. It was like some sick and twisted safety blanket. The other reason I didn't find comfort, and to be honest with myself—the main reason, was the change itself. It left me with a sinister feeling. A feeling that shook me to my core.

  This time right after the popping and crunching sounds, there was a great cloud of smoke that filled the plane's cabin. And the look that was etched onto my parents' faces was haunting. The look, which in sixteen years I had never seen, was a mixture of horror and rage. Their reaction scared the hell out of me. Then to my total astonishment, my parents stood up—while the plane was plummeting—and said one word in unison. Equitum.

  I knew what I needed to do as soon as my mind had stopped analyzing the dream. I had to call my brother. Only he would know what to make of the change. Maybe he would tell me some of the details of the crash. He still tried to protect me from everything. I guess that is what a big brother does. But I am almost 21 and he needs to take off the kid gloves.

  I grabbed my cell off the nightstand and started dialing. It wasn't until I glanced at the clock, that I realized I had been analyzing my dream for close to an hour. It was 5 am, which meant it was six back home. Jack should be up by now, but his phone rang four more times and then went to his voicemail.

  ‘Leave a message.' That's my brother—clear and concise, like always. I waited for the beep trying to make myself calm. I was hoping that if I sounded more grown-up and serious, like him, he would give up some of the information that I desperately needed.

  ‘Jack, its Kinsey. Will you call me when you get this message? It’s really important. Talk to you later. Love you. Bye.'

  I sighed heavily. There was nothing else I could do about my nightmare for the time being. I would have to be patient and wait for Jack to call me back. And patience is not something I have in abundance.

  Since I was already awake, I decided to cook breakfast for myself. Usually I only had time for cold cereal or a granola bar but I loved to cook. It made me happy and relaxed. Mom had taught me everything I knew and after she and dad died, I had taken over the cooking at home. This was a great relief to Jack because that poor boy couldn't boil water. While I ate, I opened my Spanish book, which was still in the exact spot on the table that I had left it last night, and began studying. My priority at this point was passing my Spanish midterm. Priorities. I know they suck.

  It was hard to stay focused on the conjugation of verbs when my eyes kept glancing at the clock. An hour and a half had passed since I left the message for Jack. This wasn't like him. And, of course, having the mind that I have I started to imagine reasons why he hadn't called yet. Finally, when my visions had become too horrible and vivid, I told myself to text him. He was probably somewhere with poor signal or somewhere he couldn't talk—like in a meeting. I grabbed my cell and flipped it open.

  Jack, R U OK?

  I waited. No response.

  Jack????

  Finally, after ten minutes, I decided to start getting ready for school. I was partly hoping this would distract me a little from worrying about my brother. Like I needed something else to worry about today. This had the makings of a very, very bad day.

  When I finished drying off and wrapping my now very cold body up in a towel, I checked my cell for a message.

  I'm fine, Kinsey. I’m in a meeting.

  Sorry I didn't call you back earlier.

  I was running late this morning.

  Finally. I hadn't realized how worried I was until that moment. I sighed with relief and sent back a quick message.

  Will U call me later?
>
  I need 2 talk 2 U.

  While I waited for a reply, I got dressed. Maybe the day would not be that bad. It was supposed to be in the fifties today—perfect autumn weather. I decided to wear my favorite blue jeans with my black knee-high boots and my black V-neck sweater. I studied my reflection in the mirror. I used to have image issues. I guess all teenagers do, but now I have accepted my body—flaws and all. I am adorable…and today even a little sexy. I have dark brown hair, which looks almost black today, that falls to my waist. I have sapphire blue eyes, which turn a smoky gray some days. I am five foot six, which is average. I am somewhat athletic. I love to swim and play sports—never joined any teams though. My image issue comes from my very fair skin. I’m so pasty that my socks match my legs perfectly. I never could tan, and I finally gave up a few years ago. I have accepted and even embraced my chalkiness.

  My phone beeped which interrupted my self-reflection.

  Yes. I promise to call you later today.

  I have to go now.

  Love you. Bye.

  Well, hell. I needed some kind of distraction. I could study some more, but I do not think I could stay focused on that right now. I need some other kind of distraction. My mind started to contemplate my mission. TV…reading…baking a cake…cleaning (that was a desperate thought) …

  Speaking of distractions. Abby, my roommate, stumbled down the hall. It looked like she had had a long night. Without even looking in my direction, she made her way to the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of pain reliever out of the medicine cabinet. I walked into the hall to peruse her appearance. I could not stifle the laughter escaping my mouth, which made her spill the glass of water she had just poured all over her. Which made me laugh even more. Her blonde hair was sticking out from every angle on her head. She didn't bother to take off her make up last night, so her lipstick and mascara were smudged on her face. However, the funniest detail of her appearance was her shirt. It was inside out and on backward—and now covered in water.

  "Shit, Kinsey. You almost gave me a heart attack," Abby screamed at me in her always-apparent southern accent and then began rubbing her temples.

  "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I grabbed a towel and began wiping up the water from the floor. After I cleaned up the mess, I handed her another glass of water and led her into the living room. She stretched out on the couch and I handed her a blanket. I sat down in the chairacross from her, awaiting the details of her night. Not that I wanted the details, but I knew Abby and she would tell me whether I wanted to hear them or not.

  Abby glanced at the clock above the television and then looked at me again.

  "How long have you been up?" She was still a little groggy and she was barely speaking above a whisper.

  "Since four, I had a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep."

  "Oh." Abby truly did look like hell, maybe worse. Nevertheless, I knew better than to say anything to her about her appearance. She was very touchy about that subject.

  "So, did you have fun last night?" Even though I knew it would be in vain, I still hoped that she would at least skip the intimate details between her and her boyfriend, Mike.

  "Of course, don't I always. You missed a great movie by the way. It was super scary. I almost peed myself a half a dozen times." She and some of her friends watched the latest horror movie at the theater last night. I was supposed to go with them, but I was called into work at the last minute. Abby was still looking at me with a mischievous smirk on her face.

  "What?"

  "Tyler asked about you." Tyler. My heart warmed at the mention of his name. He was so hot and I was totally crushing on him. He was built like a Greek warrior. This could only be made better by the fact that he was half-Greek. We had been innocently flirting for a few weeks and last night we were going to hang out outside of class.

  "What did you tell him? You didn't make me sound pathetic, did you?"

  "No! I just told him that you were sick, probably food poisoning, and that you had been in the bathroom all day." Abby had the nerve to say that with a straight face, that is which I believed her.

  "You did not!" My voice was starting to rise at her, and I was bordering on hysterics. "Why would you? You know I wasn't…why…do you hate me…" I could not think much less form complete sentences. I was absolutely livid.

  "I'm kidding, Kinz. Don't get your panties in a bunch. I told him you had to work last night cause Lizbeth called in sick." She gave me that calm down and chill because you are starting to scare me look.

  "Oh. Well, thanks." I finally managed to tell her after my breathing became normal again.

  "I don't know why you don't ask him out. He really, really likes you," Abby said annoyed with my lack of wanting a social life. This was not completely true, I wanted one, but it wasn't feasible now.

  "You know I don't have time to date." I honestly did not have the time. Even though Tyler was so sweet and funny, and did I mention the body of a Greek warrior. And oh, his beautiful eyes. They were so dark and seductive. However, between school and work, I barely had any time left for my meager social life. And what time I did manage to find was usually spent hanging out with my best friend, Will.

  To be perfectly honest with myself, I have had a huge crush on my best friend for the past two and a half years. Since our first meeting at freshman orientation. We became instant friends, at first due to how we had every class together. Our friendship developed, even more, when we found out we lived in the same apartment complex and that we shared many of the same interests. I knew my feelings were unrequited, so I never pushed the issue. Also because I don’t like rejection and embarrassment. Needless to say, I have been trying to hide my feelings for him and so far, it has worked. I wasn't sure how I would feel about actually dating someone else, like Tyler, when I had such strong feelings for Will.

  "Mike invited us to the Delta Chi Halloween Costume Bash Friday night. And Tyler wanted me to tell you that he can't wait to see you in your costume," Abby said smugly.

  "I can't. I have the afternoon shift at the station on Friday." Ugh. I can't catch a break today.

  "Come when you finish up. Plus, you could plug the party for Mike on the air. They are raising money for Children's Hospital," she pleaded. How could I say no to that? She rarely asked me for favors, and I knew this would mean a lot to her. Her little sister, Brittany, was a frequent patient at Children's Hospital.

  "No problem. Can I bring Will with me to the party? You know he’ll want to come." Actually, I was going to have to beg him to take me—especially to a costume party.

  "Yeah, I guess…" She hesitated for a second and then finished her thought "…hey Kinz, promise me that you will hang out with Tyler, too." I saw the worry for me all over her face. She literally thought I was missing the college experience with the lack of romantic entanglements in my life.

  "I promise, Abby. So, tell me…is there a theme for this party or will any costume work?"

  I wasn't sure what I wanted to wear. The last time I dressed up for Halloween was my senior year in high school. My best friend, Caleb, and I dressed up as a devil and an angel. He was the sweet, innocent angel and I was the naughty, little devil. Total opposites, of course, but we were a huge hit among our friends.

  "Yeah, any actual costume will work. You can't dress up as yourself in normal clothes or anything like that. I'm going' as a French maid. I already have my costume. But I gotta shorten it some more. It needs to be very short," she said absent-mindedly.

  I tried to hide the laughter coming from my mouth with a cough, but it didn’t work so well. Abby gave me her famous glare that doubled today as a silent, ‘shut the hell up'. She stalked off to her bedroom in a huff, which made me laugh even more because of her appearance.

  "I'm sorry, Abby. You know I love ya." I yelled my apology down the hall, but I am sure it fell on deaf ears. I started to go after her to apologize some more, but there was a knock at the door. I looked up at the clock. Sure enough, it was 9:30 am. Right on
time. Then my heart fluttered. Keep it together, I repeated silently to myself, .

  "Come in Will."

  CHAPTER TWO

  Will unlocked the door and walked into the living room. "How do you always know it's me? One of these days it's going to be some crazy person at the door."

  I turned around to look at him and to give him my witty comeback, but he took my breath away—as always. It was like one of those slow-motion movie mantras. You know the one where the hot guy walks through the door, everything comes to a standstill, and some cheesy song starts playing in the background. There he stood—my best friend and secret crush. The guy I dreamed about when I was not having nightmares. It took all my will power not to throw myself into his arms at that very moment.

  "I can sense you…and well you are the only other person who has a key to this place."

  He laughed. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. I could listen to him talk and laugh all day every day for the rest of my life. He was smart, funny, sweet, and not to mention insanely gorgeous. Looking at him now made me realize I had been kidding myself with the whole Tyler fantasy. Will is the one person who makes my head spin, my heart flutter, and my body ache. And I would give anything for him to feel the same way about me. But that would happen about the same time hell froze over.

  It was so hard to pretend that I only thought of him as a friend, especially when he looked that damn good. He was wearing his gorgeous beige sweater that clung to his lean, hard, sculpted chest. His jeans were tight in all the right places and loose everywhere else. His six-foot-one body was muscular, but not too muscular. He looked like a basketball or soccer player. Oh, how I longed to be wrapped up in those arms, while he kissed every square inch of my body.

  "Kinsey? Are you okay?"

  I looked up from appraising his body embarrassed that I had been caught. I started to say something, but I looked into his magnificent blue eyes that seemed like they could see into my soul and lost my train of thought. That seemed to happen a lot these days, especially around him. He ran a hand through his midnight black hair, that was long enough to hang to his nose if he didn't keep it gelled in a messy sort of way. I loved his hair. It was like his trademark.